I am Jewish. But I didn’t grow up Jewish. I grew up with what I like to call Hallmark Holidays. There was more of focus on the cultural aspect of holidays celebrated then the religious convictions that spark huge debates.
I grew up believing in Santa Claus. It is an experience I cherish and celebrate all the lessons of. Believe me it was hard not to pass it on to my children. I even made a way for our kids to support the practice in our family so our kids children wouldn’t ruin it for other kids experience. I explained that because there was a Star of David shining over our house at Christmas time, Santa knew our kids were taken care of went on to help other kids have a different holiday. Santa cares about them but he knows they are having their needs met differently.
That being said I wish I could figure out the lesson I learned from Santa easier for my kids. The big thing I learned from my belief in Santa was about cognitive bias. The idea that you hold a belief and it is backed up in society in a bunch of ways but it actually isn’t true.
My parents made Christmas this amazing magical experience. I am only child and Christmas morning there were rings of gifts around our tree. The milk and cookies were gone. I was tired from trying to stay up and hear the sled on the roof. Parents were patient and let me get them up at 5 in the morning. They acted surprise with each gift opened.
My parents both had stable jobs and I got to have this experience for many years so, when other kids I knew would try to tell me that Santa wasn’t real. I would internally reinforce my belief system. Which was thinking they must of done something bad, and their parents felt sorry for them so they took on Santa’s job so they wouldn’t feel left out.
Santa was real I had proof every year including letters sent from him.
When my dad finally told me the truth, it was this shock. Even though I was suspicious and I really didn’t want Santa to be a lie. But, you know you realize if this generous man was really in the world. People wouldn’t be going hungry around me and be struggling in so many ways.
I faced that fact I had made excuses to keep that belief going and it was time to realize, I was duped and I helped in that process. I was to blame for my continue belief, though I observed facts all around me that showed me the truth.
So these days, when I find myself in conflict over a belief or something I think is a fact. I pause. I pull out the scientific method and reevaluate what I think is “true”. I listen to the person telling me something I don’t agree with. I keep my skepticism going but I do pause and take a moment to see if I holding on to something because it is something I want or is something really true.
Things these days are more grey then that. Stuff about relationships and roles in society. Finding the truths and the nice to haves is not universal. I circle nice to have in my head and know that means it is an ideal not a truth and move forward.
I call it the Santa lesson. Why I have friends from all walks of life, belief systems and political convictions.
Truthfully, I don’t think everyone else got this lesson from it.
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